My Daily Struggle

Having A Little Fun with Audrey

2012-01-08T19:49:00.005-05:00

It was fun to be a little silly this evening.

I think she was attempting her name in this one.

A Typical Night

2011-10-14T00:00:00.008-04:00

I never have time to blog anymore and I need to be doing about a million other things right now, but I thought I'd put this together instead.

I love them but they never sleep.

Slowing it Down

2011-01-03T21:48:00.003-05:00

After three of the busiest months of my life, I am finally taking time to breathe again. And guess what that means? More pictures of MY kids and MY family!
I joke, but I think they're happy to have me back after such a long stint. I think that because there were no complaints about me toting my camera around yesterday. No shying away. Lots of smiling on command. In fact, Audrey even set up her own shots. She's a pretty good creative director. It was great.

I missed taking pictures of my girls.

They are the two busiest girls in the world. They never stop talking, moving, making or messing. They can literally tear the house apart in a matter of minutes. I swear. Case in point: This past weekend, Tim and I started cleaning the house after taking down the tree. We cleaned the living room and moved on into the kitchen. By the time the kitchen was spic and span, we walked back into the living room... it was trashed! Trashed!

I don't really have anything important or profound to say. I'm just glad to be adopting a slower, more relaxed pace.

Cool Tricks

2011-01-02T22:48:00.008-05:00

She's as wild as the hair about her head.
Every day is full of surprises. I sometimes can't wrap my head around the words that come from her perfectly shaped mouth. I have to remind myself that she's only two and a half.

When she's tired her hands always reach for my hair. She hums.
If I'm lucky, she plants a big, wonderful, sincere kiss on my lips while she cradles my chin in her chubby palms. "My Enchila" she calls me. (My Angela, to you.)

I mostly love the songs she makes up while playing alone.
And she's already making up her own words.
Imparpable: "When it's dark and then the sun's coming up."

She makes all of us laugh, especially her Sissy. They love each other.
I had to stop myself today. I looked over and thought they were wrestling and picking at each other. I was about to snap at them and pull them apart , discipline them, when I realized they were having a Love Fest. Who in their right mind would break that up?

Harper is my Snuggler.

Life with you, Harper, is gonna be one helluva ride.
Always looking forward, never looking back.

Stroke of Luck

2010-11-09T23:37:00.015-05:00

Julie,

I’m doing this for me mostly, but I’m also doing this for you. You might enjoy reading this while you’re housebound and bored out of your mind

Tuesday Night (I get the call)

Tim and I were sitting in the living room, him watching TV and me on the computer as usual.

Mom called and somehow managed to say your name, slowly, in choked-up syllables. That’s all she got out before I thought the worst and in denial kept repeating, “What? What? No. No. No.” And was somewhat relieved when she finally managed to finish her sentence, telling me that you’d had a seizure.

I made her give the phone to dad. I knew I’d get some details from him. And I did.

I was told you had walked into your patient’s room and collapsed, having a seizure. The patient, luckily called 911. (Later, we found out that it didn’t happen quite like that.) When I first heard the word “stroke”, that’s when I began to get upset again. “What do you mean she had a stroke? She’s 46!” No one was sure if you were conscious or speaking or moving your limbs. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know if you were okay.

I told them to call me back when they found out more.

I was mostly in shock after getting off the phone. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. Tim kept reassuring me that you can fully recover from a stroke. So, I googled and googled and was still googling when I got the second phone call. Before you were to be life-lined to St Vincent, you suffered another seizure.

I went ballistic. I immediately began booking a flight. I debated on jumping in the car and driving up. Then, I slowed my thoughts and called mom and Kelli and we all decided to fly up together. I remember talking to Bryan at some point and then throwing almost everything I owned into a bag. All the while, refusing to accept that this horrible, terrible, unthinkable thing happened to you. I took a shower and then slept on the couch for a few hours before picking up mom to head to the airport where we met Kelli.

I know it might have been too much, all of us coming up. I know we might have jumped the gun, but Julie, I never ever would have forgiven myself if your situation had worsened and I did not get the chance to see you. Just the thought of it…it’s too much to imagine.

I could not bare the thought of losing the one person I’ve forever idolized and loved unconditionally. Not you. Not my Juwee.

Wednesday Morning (I got to see you)

Bryan picked us up outside baggage claim. The cloud of worry was very thick on that long car ride to the hospital.

At this point, we knew you could move your arms and legs and could make sounds. When we got to the hospital I was almost too scared to see you. It was hard. I was so incredibly saddened by your condition but thankful that you were seemingly getting the rest you so very much needed.

I remember sitting in your room, all alone, just watching you sleep.

I felt helpless. I wanted to touch you. I wanted to stand up and just wrap my arms around you and all of your protruding tubes. I was close to you but I wanted to be closer.

I wish I’d continued to write this while I was in Indiana. So much of it is a blur now but I remember feeling frightened that Wednesday. You seemed so despondent, so not there. Although you would look at me, it was almost as if you were looking right through me. My stomach turned with worry. And even though you smiled at me, you were smiling at everyone and to everything that was said. So, I thought it might be a sign of uneasiness rather than genuine emotion.

It’s important to mention that almost 20 family members and friends came to visit you Wednesday evening. I knew it was too much for you. I knew you were exhausted. I felt guilty, even, for being there. We all just wanted to connect with you again, to hear our voice and see that bright, energetic face.

That night, I fell asleep wishing, hoping, longing for you to be more like yourself. I wanted your brain to just get better over night.

Thursday (I held your hand for a very long time)

I was very hesitant to go into your room that morning. I wanted to give you your space after Wednesday night. I was most afraid that you wouldn’t recognize me. I guess I was still in denial. I spent most of the morning in the waiting room and made you this because I didn't really know what else to do.

Thursday, Thursday was a great day. When I finally entered your room you looked happy to see me, like you really saw me. You were talking and even exhibiting your natural, normal movements- like the repetitive upward sweeping movement you make with your hand when brushing your hair away from your face. It’s one of the characteristics I most associate with you. It made me grin from ear to ear to see it, again.

You were also speaking so well. It was slow, labored speech but hey, those were words I could understand and they made sense! You were 100 times better than Wednesday. Unbelievable. The brain. Your brain. Just unbelievable.

I remember the OT coming in to ask you questions (or maybe she was the speech therapist, I’m not quite sure). After asking you what year it was you said, “Two-thousand and one.” I remember hanging my head just as you added “…..zero” to the end. We all shared a good laugh and I thought that was interesting- the way your brain processed the year in numbers. Another funny thing you said: The nurse asked you “Who’s the President?” You answered, “Obama.” She then asked, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” You said, “I plead the Fifth.”

I mean, how is it that you’re cracking jokes at a time like this?! I love you.

You were still mixing up your left and right a little bit and the nurse noticed that your pupils weren’t dilating like they should.

The OT or speech therapist also had you draw a picture. She asked you to draw a clock. You did that perfectly.

I was amazed that you put the numbers in all the right places and you spaced them equally. It was a beautiful clock. You also added the arms. The therapist asked you, “What time does that clock say?” You answered by writing “1-12”. And I knew what you were thinking. I said, “She’s saying she wrote the numbers 1-12.” The therapist said, “Yes. You wrote 1-12, but what time is it?”

You wrote down 12:55. You were a little off.

Later on that night, I was showing someone in your room (I can’t remember who) your clock and explaining to them what you did. I held it up in front of you and asked you again, “What time is it?” And you said three o’ clock. You were right! I remember thinking, “Yes! Hell yeah!”

Go Julie.

The best part of Thursday was sitting next to you and holding your hand while listening to you struggle to carry on conversations. I felt like I was sending my energy to you through touch (I know, I sound silly or something, but I really felt that way).

By the end of the night, you were still having trouble finishing your sentences. You would often have incomplete thoughts, trailing off and ending with a smile and a somewhat vacant look. Even so, the amount of function you’d recovered and how quickly.. I was so impressed and proud of your strength.

I still desired one of our typical conversations. And although I knew you were probably tiring quickly of all the questions, I kept asking them in hopes that you would just begin to talk my ear off. (Because, you know, that’s how it normally goes: You get 30 minutes, I get my 30 minutes and then, inevitably one of our phones will go dead.)

I hope to have that again with you someday soon.

I will keep your clock drawing for as long as I live. It will always remind me of this time, of time in general: how important it is, how it can fly by all too quickly if you let it or slow down so slow that you don’t think you’ll ever catch up with reality. One thing’s for sure, Time is on your side Julie. You had great timing. You really did.

Friday Morning ( Goodbye for now)

Chuck took Kelli to the airport bright and early. Mom and I got to stay a few hours longer. It was 6am when we got to the hospital. Mom was itchin’ to see you. Again, I was a little apprehensive. We initially went back to peek in on you and ask the nurses if they’d seen mom’s pill case (which she somehow lost). You were sleeping soundly. Mom followed me back to the waiting room but shortly thereafter said she was going back into your room. I wasn’t going to have any part in waking you up. You know how much I hate to be woken up in the morning!

I gave mom a half hour alone with you and then went back to see you myself.

I was thrilled. You looked fantastic. I was giddy and so happy that we’d decided to hang back for a few more hours before heading to the airport. It was so worth it.

When it came time to leave I couldn’t hold back the tears. I wasn’t ready to go.

I gave everyone hugs and then returned my attention to you, sitting up in your chair, and finally got to wrap my arms around you.

It was hard to leave you.

And it’s still hard to be away.

I love you. You’re doing great. You’re doing better than great. You are an amazing person and I can’t imagine life without you. You’re gonna be just fine. I hope you know that.

Now, pick up the phone and call me damn it.

Some Kids Win You Over Right Away

2010-08-03T12:56:00.016-04:00

I am intrigued by Autism. I am even more intrigued by people that do not engage with children or are scared and tend ignore children with Autism. It's just a label folks. Take that label away and you have just a kid.

All kids are approachable and responsive if you find a way in. Children with Autism are a little more sensitive, a little more apprehensive about socializing and a little more passionate about specific things.
I'm no expert on Autism, but like I said I'm definitely intrigued by it. I'm curious as to why more males are stricken with it, why there are more diagnoses today (a lot more) and how many several different spin-offs of Autism exist: Hyperlexia, Pervasive Developmental Disorder and Asbergers Syndrome just to name a few. The spectrum is so broad the signs so vague in some instances. For example, sometimes these disorders are defined by a passion for a certain things to the point of being obsessive about it- dinosaurs, trains or numbers or anything really but why do some children become obsessed and passionate about one thing and not another? Also the physical characteristics- funny finger movements/folding or hand flapping, toe-walking... what causes that behavior? Some children are described as having learning disorders but then others can be savants and have an incredible understanding of language and even know how to read very early on. Oh, and the eating habits! One Autistic adult divulged that he loves to eat whole onions like they're apples. One parent said her child's therapist told her that it usually takes introducing a new food 100 times before a kid with Autism will try it. 100 times! How can the spectrum be so wide in regards to the symptoms? I find it all so very interesting. The most perplexing though is, why does it affect mostly males? 4 times more males than females.

Sigh. The brain, our bodies, our coping mechanisms... all so very interesting.

Maybe I should've been a neurologist.

With that being said, I was a little terrified to meet my client. I was gently forewarned several times before going on this shoot that he might not be receptive to me. He might not want to have his picture taken. He might not let me take his picture at all.

There's always a way in folks. And had I not been clued-in.... I never would've known of his disorder. I never would have suspected. Not social? We talked the entire time I was there. Not responsive? Hey, I got smiles. I got lots of smiles, even some laughs.

I did have a tip though, and I brought a sticker book for back up.

I didn't need it.
But it did make a nice parting gift.

Those Miller Girls

2010-08-03T12:30:00.008-04:00

Oh, these girls. These girls tug at my heart strings. It's always such a treat to visit the Miller house. This is a mom with such a big heart, tremendous patience and such a positive personality! It rubs off on me every time I visit. Tu-tus and duckies always make for a good time.

Good-bye Crib, Hello Big Girl Bed.

2010-07-25T23:28:00.004-04:00

Well, this was past due seeing as Harper had outsmarted her crib a little over a month ago.

She was not sad to see her crib go down. She has not asked for it back. As a matter of fact, after Tim had taken it apart and propped up against the wall Harper walked over to it, rested her hand upon the sideways turned head of the crib and said, "Bye-Bye Crib." She lingered there for only a minute before she said, "HELLLLLOOOO BIG GIRL BED!" and dove into the cute little toddler-sized platform bed that her dad made just for her.
I thought it sweet for her to acknowledge her long term relationship with her crib and give it a much deserved farewell.

Audrey helped her break in the new sleeping grounds. This picture is the very first moment in her bed. Look how excited she is! She kept clapping- she was so happy. Serious excitement.
She is so proud to be more like a big girl. Now, if we could just get her on board with the potty training bit. She's so stubborn about it.
And I have to say, I was really worried about this backfiring on us. Much to my surprise, she stayed in it last night (only fell out once) and then ended up waking at 4am to crawl into bed with us (as usual). We haven't had to do the "Get back in bed!" thing at all (yet).
And since Audrey is away for a week, I think the transition will go more smoothly. We can just focus on Harps.

I had to sneak in there tonight and grab one picture. She initially fell asleep with both hands behind her head. As you can see, one hand moved in order to touch the sippy cup. She loves her ice cold milk. *Every drink is referred to as "ice cold".
Oh, and Stripey. Stripey's the bunny. She promised Audrey that she would sleep with it and protect it from the dogs. She held up to her promise, Audrey. You'd be so proud.

Other things Harper is doing: She has learned to give the "Thumbs Up!" sign. She's mastered the cool trick of balancing a spoon on her nose. (I'm going to have to video this. It's hysterically funny.) She can put her own shoes on. She is talking our heads off! She buckles herself in the car seat. Pretty soon she'll be ruling the world.

And yes, I'm a little saddened by the fact that my kids are growing up so quickly. But Harper, even more-so than Audrey at this age, cannot wait to be a big girl. So, I'm going to embrace that and not hold her back... as hard as it may be at times.

Meet the Talented Tracy of Tweet Design:

2010-06-23T21:29:00.007-04:00

Well, this woman never ceases to amaze me. I'm betting she can do absolutely anything she envisions in that unbelievably creative head of hers. I'm sure you recall her super cute offspring from a recent session-

Well, as a thank you, Tracy sent me an incredible package full of things I love!
She also included Henry's birth announcement because she remembered I'd said that I would love to see it someday. It's definitely the coolest baby announcement I've ever seen.
The envelope:

Sewn with orange thread! Love that.

When you open it up you get two separate, equally stunning cards:

The card stock is quality and it's embossed, of course. I simply love her retro/vintage designs.
And look.... more! Did I mention she's crafty? Look! Look! Look!
Her thank you card: How'd she know I'm a fan of the mustachio?

And this pendant?!

How cool is this? I can't even begin to know how she made this:

I cannot wait to wear that.
And then, if that wasn't enough... Xmas ornaments, too?

Can you imagine my glee? My surprise at the uber coolness of these gifts?
Show Tracy some love. She's incredible. The talent just flows from her fingers. Check out her design skills, have her build you a website or buy one of her paintings!

More Tracy here:
Tweet Design Studio

Check out her Artwork:
TracyWagner.net

And Tweet Design is also responsible for THIS : The Annual Day of the Dead Show. I'll make sure you're reminded of this year's opening.

Thank you, Tracy.
I now have another creative idol.

Chattanooga!

2010-06-23T15:15:00.010-04:00

Audrey is on her first big vacation away from home. I drove her up to Chattanooga yesterday to meet with her first friend, ever. Excited does not explain how pumped she was to see Kietly. I thought I was going to pull out my hair leading up to the expedition: "How many more sleeps until I get to go to Tennessee?" "I'm gonna bring my doll and her stroller and my fairy books and my new Barbie horse. I want Kitely to see everything." "How many more sleeps now?" "Are we there yet, Mama?"

And then, when we finally got there, we had to sit and wait. And wait. And wait. To Audrey 15 minutes seemed like an eternity!

And then, FINALLY! Kitely and Suzanne arrived. There was a grin the size of Texas on Audrey's face and I knew it would be stuck there long into the hot summer night. I was no more a concern of my daughter's. She would start to say something to me during lunch, quickly remember her best friend was right next to her, brush me off, swivel around and declare Very Important Stuff to her bosom buddy.

I know Audrey is enjoying her time away from home. I called her before bed to say g'night and to make sure she was not the emotional wreck I was. Needless to say, she was polite and spoke with me long enough for me to tell her that her little baby sister was sleeping in her bed but then quickly got off the phone once I started to string out the conversation.

Honestly? I'm not worried about her. I know she's loving every second of it. I'm just worried that she won't want to come home! Catching fireflies, bathing in gigantic bubble bath ridden tubs, swimming in the sunshine, watching morning cartoons with your best pal, eating really good food from a really good cook and sharing laughter with one of the most special people, ever?

I'm going to have to pry her away from Tennessee!

You're gonna have to see this one up close. See it here: View On White

Father's Day Message from Audrey

2010-06-23T15:00:00.002-04:00

Yes, I'm a little behind over here but this is too cute not to share.
Audrey has been learning to spell on her own by listening to the sounds she hears in words and translating them into script. Her teacher says this is a great way to learn to read and write because they are figuring it out all by themselves.
I'm forcing myself not to worry about the "b" and "d" confusion just yet! The teacher in me wants to correct, correct, correct!

Can you decipher the message?

Also, we had some fun with raspberries at dinner. I'd like to do an entire series similar to this. My kids are total Fruit Bats!

Tim, you couldn't be a better dad or troll.

Who Knew?

2010-06-22T19:49:00.003-04:00

Who knew my favorite place to go for camera equipment has a blog?
It's super informative and I can't wait to sift through all the posts I haven't had a chance yet to read. I've been to a few other camera stores in town and let me tell you: Avoid all the sass and snobbery of other places. KEH doesn't care if you're a novice, amateur or pro. They will give you great service no matter what your skill level.

Go check out the blog! Click on the logo:

Or click on this:
Today is the last day to enter to win a $50 gift certificate!

And if I didn't convince you, maybe this post will:
Reasons To Buy Used

Jack-Jack and Family

2010-06-20T23:37:00.002-04:00

Hayden, Happy Birthday!

2010-06-19T14:43:00.003-04:00

What a Pair

2010-06-15T00:12:00.003-04:00

Introducing my Thing One and Thing Two:
Do you think you could find the Cat in the Hat for me? I could really use some help cleaning up after these guys. They're unbelievably messy. Cute, but messy.

Katherine + Charlie

2010-06-07T15:13:00.008-04:00

June 5, 2010

Congratulations to K + C for tying the knot!
This couple had the most charming family and friends.There was such a relaxed feel to the entire weekend. The setting for the wedding was the Glen-Ella Springs Inn located in Clarkesville, Georgia. It was the perfect summer wedding.
They had live music both evenings and Whiskey Gentry really got the celebration going on the wedding night with some serious heel stompin' tunes. No one seemed to care that it was sweltering hot and muggy! Here's a sneak peek for the bride and groom:

Harper Jane is turning two this weekend!

2010-06-04T00:44:00.003-04:00

And I won't be around for it.
I'm off to Glen-Ella Springs Inn to shoot a wedding and will miss my baby's second birthday.
I feel so guilty!
I'll make it up to you sweetie, with a longer post and a birthday celebration next weekend.

It's Timmy's birthday too, you know! (But we don't ever call it that anymore. Poor Tim. He's lost his birthday.... forever.)

Some funny things Tati is doing:
-Calling me Angela or Mom but not Mommy. (I'm sad about this.)
-Saying, "Stop it Dude" to her dad when he tickles her too much. (Laughter is mixed in which ups the cute factor.)
-Giving extra long kisses with a very loud "Muwah!" at the end.
-Saying "I like this song" to every single song she hears.
-Ending all of her requests with 'for a minute'. Example: "Mom rock you (me) for a minute.", "I gonna watch Yo Gabba Gabba for a minute." (Wonder where she got that one from, huh?)
-Using the potty to "toot" but nothing else. She always announces her toots, too.
-Spitting. (Which isn't very funny to me but Tim says he will not have a daughter that doesn't know how to spit.) !!!???!!!
-Stopping suddenly in the middle of an activity to run over, give me a hug and say, "I love you."

There's so much more! I love this kid! She's so unique... and smart.
I'm really sorry I'll miss your birthday, Harpy Girl. I love you.

Miles

2010-06-01T08:37:00.012-04:00

Little Miles was such a joy to meet.
According to his parents, he had a bit of a rough start being a preemie and all. You'd never know that now! Once they put him on the ground he was trying to wiggle around. Unbelievably strong, that little guy.
Congratulations K + R!

And it is Brazilian tradition to give a sachet to anyone that visits the baby. K gave me two extra for my girls. Thanks guys! The girls loved them!

It's Official. I have a Kindergartner.

2010-05-28T00:05:00.007-04:00

I was so glad to be able to go to her signing party and hear her teacher and peers say their good-byes. She truly had a wonderful year.

Chairs for parents were set up around the kids' mat. (Audrey sits on the number 3.) And the kids sang us a cute little song to get started. (Audrey was belting it out in such an animated fashion. Very cute.) After they finished, her teacher explained that she was about to hand out special certificates. Her and her para had pondered over what they thought the professions of the students would be in the future. She then, separately, had the children draw pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up. It was a super funny presentation/celebration.
There were lawyers that wanted to become baseball players, artists that really wanted nothing more than to be farmers and presidents that secretly wanted to be race car drivers.

Audrey's teacher announced that she thought Audrey would be seen on tv either as a performer or a singer. She said Audrey is ALWAYS singing or dancing around the room. Now, Audrey on the other hand, wanted to become a ballet instructor. I didn't see that one coming. (Guess I'd better sign her up again for another year of classes!)

Lastly, Audrey and her peers went around and autographed each others' papers.

I loved watching them socially move about the room. And was reminded how socially awkward I felt! I hadn't made a great attempt at getting to know any of her classmates' parents this year. Mental note: more play dates next year!

As we collected her gifts, gave our last hugs and thank yous, I found myself thinking how long ago it was that I began my school career as a kindergartner. I have such vivid memories of kindergarten. I tried to remember what that little girl felt like.

She felt excited and hopeful and happy most of the time.
She didn't feel the anxiety of the arrival of an ending (like, say, a year of school) but more or less took life as it came at her.

We left her first classroom ever, walked down the hallway holding hands and talking about the picnic that just her and I would have at the park.

I'm so thankful that her teachers took great pride in providing an excellent education. It must be so incredibly difficult to deal with 20 kids ages 4-5, to plan incredibly interesting activities and field trips, to instill the importance of routine and so much more. Oh, the patience they must have! I know Audrey will remember her first classroom teacher for the rest of her life.

I can only imagine what kindergarten will bring...

Family Day

2010-05-27T08:24:00.009-04:00

What? You have a real job?

2010-05-24T19:43:00.010-04:00

Yes, I have a real job. A day job. A daily grind. I have one. I don't talk about it too much because that's taboo in Blog Land, right? Well, tonight I'm breakin' the rules.

I teach art. To be fancy, I am a visual arts instructor at the high school level. And to be honest, I really like what I do.
As in any teaching profession, you might reach a very small percentage of what comes through your door, if you're lucky. And this year, I was extremely lucky. I miss them already.
No lies.

It was one of those insane years. You know. You've read the papers. You've watched the news. Dekalb County Schools are in trouble! And our little school felt the pinch of the economy as well as the repercussions of attempts to lessen the financial burden felt by the board of education. Well, there are other parts to the equation, but let's just say this was a difficult year.

In the midst of all the turmoil, I thought about quitting. I really wanted to throw in the towel after hearing that the salary decrease of 6.25% was approved. It's bad enough that several of my colleagues won't be returning after the summer but now I'll be making less next year than in the past three years of teaching! The logical answer is to quit, right?
Sure.
But let's face it: I'm lucky to even have a job. The economy sucks.
And furthermore, and more importantly, I realized I don't want to quit teaching just yet.
As crappy as this year was in all other respects, teaching, just the act of teaching was so rewarding for me this year. I loved my kids. I only hope that next year is as wonderful.

Look at this group!

Can you guess which kid is my art student?

I particularly became close to the students that I had yearlong- my advanced placement kids. I am so proud of each and every one of them. They accomplished so much and I hope their portfolio scores reward them for their efforts.

One of my students, after finding me on facebook, requested her very own blog post (which is really the inspiration for this) but I am compromising by making it more general. Sorry, kid. That's the best I can do. To single you out right now just doesn't seem fair.

Now, to get back on track, these kids are amazing. They reek of talent.
See for yourself:

That's just a small sample of the AP kids' work. Even my general classes blew me away. Kids that had never ever taken an art class before created some of the most beautiful artwork. They surprised themselves, even.

It was my kids, not the decreasing paycheck that kept me going this year. I realized it during graduation.

At graduation, our school's valedictorian captivated the audience with his speech. He singled-out several inspiring teachers and commended them for their hard work. Students and parents alike would clap loudly at the mention of each dedicated teacher. I secretly kept wishing I'd hear my name in his speech, but never did. It ended and I was a little sad that I had not made an impression on this outstanding student or the senior class for that matter.

Recognition goes a long way.

Well, after the ceremony, there was much hustle and bustle leaving the church. I bumped into the valedictorian. He grabbed my arm and he said, "Mrs. Georges. I want to show you something." He unraveled some folded up papers to reveal the framework for his incredible, moving speech. He leaned over to me in the crowd and pointed near the bottom of the second page. "Read it," he said.
I did. And in doing so, I saw that he had thanked me for creating such a memorable yearbook.
I glanced at him and smiled.
He explained that he had mistakenly skipped over an entire paragraph without realizing it- the paragraph with my name in it. He pointed to it again as if to say, "It's right there. See? I did recognize you." He smiled back.

In that moment, I gave him a big hug, thanked him sincerely and came to a huge realization, myself.
I know I make a difference in these kids' lives. I know they enjoy having me as their teacher. I know they learn from me. I know they do. I don't have to hear it. Why did I think I had to hear it?
It was almost better that the valedictorian didn't recognize me publicly but did so in private. It was almost more touching. He went to all the trouble to seek me out so that I alone would know he appreciated me. And in a way, I know he spoke for the entire senior class.

Just that one simple act of acknowledgment gave me enough fuel to want to teach another year.
It made it all worth it. That, and my art students.

Want to know the funny thing?
After realizing this and coming to peace with the fact that I might not ever be recognized or fully appreciated by my peers or the administration I miraculously was, today, in a faculty meeting. I had to laugh about it, really laugh about it after I was called up to receive my shiny red apple trophy.

Goes to show you the saying is true: When you least expect it....

Bring it on 2011.

Henry

2010-05-13T14:37:00.005-04:00

I'm only about half way through editing this session but I just have to share! Is this kid camera candy, or what?
Holy cuteness! My camera loves him.

And if you've ever been to my website, you'll see him as a newborn in the first shot that comes up. My, how he's grown!

Tracy has a million cool vintage things in her house. When I visit, it's hard for me to contain my excitement over her super awesome collections and paintings. There's one photo in the session that I cannot wait to edit but I'm saving the best for last! You won't get to see that one until later.

Oh, and the flag banner idea for Audrey's party? Totally duped it from Tracy. Her multi-talented husband slapped one together for the shoot in a matter of minutes. That family is the bees knees.

Braeden

2010-05-12T19:04:00.010-04:00

Hey there, little buddy!
Congratulations to Shelby and Marc on Number Two.
Braeden is the cutest little peanut and he was oh, so good.

And big brother? It was so very sweet to see him with the baby.

This picture is definitely one of my favorites. It tells the all too familiar story of a number two (at least for me)...

And he was awake almost the entire time! I think this might be the only shot of him sleeping. Sweet sweet baby sleep....

Wyatt Turns One

2010-04-18T00:52:00.003-04:00

Life Goes On

2010-04-15T21:43:00.017-04:00

I'm sure you've figured it out by now- I didn't win A Very Big Award.
Sorry to get your hopes up (and mine, too).
Hopefully, there will be another chance to be recognized by Some Very Important People some other day. I was really looking forward to putting all of your names in a hat...

I'm going to try to fit a bunch of different tidbits into one post. I mean, April's half over! Wha happon?

Easter.
It was so great to get together with family. The girls ended up with about 5lbs of candy each! Luckily, hiding it in the microwave (our equivalent to the bread box) has worked. Out of site, out of mind.

Blowing Rock.
We were invited to Blowing Rock, NC for a weekend getaway. What an absolutely gorgeous place! The kids were lovin' life. They had 5 other young ones to play with and they never stopped going, going, going (except to eat).

Soccer.
Audrey has begun soccer lessons. I don't believe they'll be playing games this season, just learning the fundamentals. She looks pretty darn cute in her little uniform. Soccer and ballet? Pretty funny combination. Next, swimming lessons for Tottie.

Fearless.
There's one last thing I would like to update you on...
First of all, Harper is just shy of 2 and she's still not sleeping through the night. Which means, of course, I am not sleeping through the night. I've about had it. Who can live like this? I'm not 20 years old anymore. I need my sleep!
Anyway, we had a rough night last night. Both girls went to bed crying. I went to bed crying (just kidding, but it's really getting to me.) I did, however, sleep on the couch because Tim's snoring was keeping me up. I was an irritated insomniac by midnight.
At 2am Harper awoke, again, screaming. I finally decided to let her cry herself back to sleep. I was so tired! About the time I dozed off I heard a loud thud. I stopped breathing. There was no other sound. I thought, "Surely she didn't just fall out of her crib." The silence following the thud was way too long. "Harper?" I said.
I heard the creak of her door and her quick little patter nearing my direction in the dark. She climbed up to join me on the couch and she snuggled in tight.
"Did you just jump out of your crib?" I ask.
"Yes."
"Are you alright?" I ask.
"Yes."
We both began to drift off. I grabbed her little bottom to pull it in closer to me, away from the edge of the couch. I touched marshmallow skin.
"Did you take your diaper off?" I ask.
"Yes."

!!!

"Go. Go get your diaper and bring it back to mommy."
She did.
We put it on and relocated to Audrey's bed because she somehow moved to my bedroom to snuggle with her dad.

It's like musical chairs without the music. And without the chairs. And it's not much fun, either.

Does this mean I have to buy her a Big Girl Bed?

Since Birth

2010-04-05T12:20:00.003-04:00

Audrey Rose and Kitely Mae.
It never ceases to amaze me how well these two get along, even after not seeing each other for extended periods of time.

Almost five years ago, I was lucky enough to have a very good friend that was pregnant at the same time as me. We also worked in the same building... bonus.
She held my Baby Audrey while she was nine months pregnant. And Audrey was there to see tiny Baby Kitely within days of her arrival.
I can remember sitting at my kitchen table with Suzanne, both of us fumbling over how to nurse our babies and laughing about it. I can remember passing on some of my newborn "expertise"(remember, I was only a month ahead) to her- mainly the awesome discovery of The Sling.

I am so grateful for those moments and many more. It was so comforting to have such a good friend to share all of those New Mommy Moments with, and there were hundreds.

What was even better was that after the kids grew older we continued to hang out. We went for Babies & Beers at the Brickstore and coffee and dessert on other evenings. We did so much together as new parents! And our girls? Our girls have always gotten along like peas and carrots. Always.

Even last Thursday, it'd been months and months since they'd seen each other, as soon as Kitely and Audrey laid eyes on one another, they screamed and hugged and immediately began conversing as if not a day had passed since their last meeting.
No awkwardness.
No warming up.

It leaves me in awe. It leaves me incredibly happy to know that at such an early age, she had this little brown-haired, warm brown-eyed, cute-as-a-button, wonderfully polite and kind Kitely to be friends with.

And that their friendship continues to grow.
I hope they'll always be such good friends.

Thanks for the visit Suzanne and Phillip. We love you, too!

Another Give Away, (but not mine).

2010-03-30T21:57:00.006-04:00

(you can click on this to see it larger, if you want. you know, if you're a judge or something.)

Want a chance to win Lola? I do. So, I'm going to play. You can, too! Go to My Photography Guru's website and submit your entry.

Spring!

2010-03-27T23:44:00.004-04:00

For us, Spring really begins on the first day that is spent entirely outside in conjunction with the first big trip to the nursery for soil, plants and outdoor goodies.
Today was that day.

I start to get excited about our yard on a good sunny day like today. I think about mowing, grass seed, flower placement, color schemes, weeds, raking, edging... all that stuff that Tim could not give one flip about. No, that's not fair. He does, just not to the extent that I do.

This year I am obsessed with having a driveway installed. Yep, we've gone 3 years without one. One step at a time though.
That has always been our problem in the past. We have too many ideas and don't ever seem to have a clear plan of attack. Today, we focused on two things: Getting the yard and the parkway raked and mowed. DONE. And getting new shrubs for the front of the house. DONE.

(this is a picture from when we first moved in)

On top of our two priorities, we managed to put a new seat on the swing, recycle all of our electronics (Hey, it's a big deal. That crap has been cluttering the shed for years.) and purchase some grass seed and flowers to plant tomorrow (if the weather allows).

I love a well-manicured lawn. Ours is gettin' there.

I forgot to take a picture of the front of the house after its new and improved face. I'll do it tomorrow. The new shrubs (gardenias) are such a big improvement over the ratty, scrubby bushes that were there since moving in. Spring is so awesome. It might be my new favorite season.

Tottie, you amaze me.

2010-03-26T23:00:00.010-04:00

*This post is dedicated entirely to Harper because she very rarely gets a post all to herself whereas Audrey has 6,221 (or roughly thereabout).

I love how you grab my chin and turn it so that my eyes meet yours.
Your little voice as it asks in a broken sentence, "Y' Okay Mama?" is the sweetest sound.
I swell with so much love that I think my heart will break out of my chest.
How did we make such a cute little package?

You've taken to wearing your boots on your arms, teasing your dad by locking the car door when he goes to get you out of your car seat, running around naked screaming "apple bottom!" and "girl part!" while pointing to the appropriate anatomy, hiding quietly in the closet from the monster, throwing your sippy cup (hopefully) into the sink that you can't really see but know is there, somewhere, above you. The way you ask, "Wha' happon?" and then immediately answer yourself, "Idunnoknow!" while throwing your hands up in the air like a pro... kills me. The other thing that kills me? We're getting ready for school in the morning and I'm always running around like a lunatic: "Where are my keys?" Close the bedroom doors. "Audrey, get your jacket on!" Put the kids' chairs on the couch so the dogs don't get hair all over it. "Audrey, I mean it. We're late!" Where the hell did I put my keys? "Search the bathroom. Search my pockets from last night. Look on top of the pie safe. "Okay, I found the keys, get your book bag!" The whole time I'm freaking out... you just stand there Tottie, wait for the right moment, put out your hand and calmly say, "C'mon Mama." I love holding your tiny little hand on the way out the door. Sometimes, it's the highlight of my day.

The other night, (yes, it was a school night) my eyes just suddenly opened in the darkness. I had no idea what time it was because we don't have a clock in our bedroom. (Well, we do but it's never set to the correct time. Actually, I think it's unplugged at this point.) Anyway, I couldn't go back to sleep. I walked out into the living room, got on the computer, went straight to facebook (of course) to see who else was up at this ungodly hour (which turned out to be 2:30am) and updated my status to read: "What am I doing up?"
Not 10 minutes later I heard you talking in your sleep, Tottie. You said, "Zat fun?" I was already deep in thought about what you must be dreaming about when you then laughed in your sleep.

You were laughing in your sleep!!!

I knew then, why I had woken. It was clear. That little laugh? It was meant for me.

Thank you, Tottie.

Um, Wow.

2010-03-24T23:53:00.005-04:00

48 Names in the Hat!

I'm not embarrassed after all. In fact, I am floored. I am flabbergasted. (I just wanted to use that word, really.) I'm so unbelievably flattered. Hey! Apparently, tonight, I'm everything that starts with "f". Seriously though, thank you to everyone that responded. Honestly? I didn't think that many people even read the blog. I wish I could give every single one of you a free session. Thank you for the encouragement.

I'm so glad I started a blog. It's so much cheaper than therapy!

Whenever I start doubting myself, I am going to come back to this post and read your comments. You guys really know how to boost a girl's confidence. A Very Big Award or not, I just might go for it. (Maybe you guys could stick around a little while longer? See me through it? I might need some more fuel in a few months!)

I've decided that we can make this little "drawing" even more fun. Since we don't find out until April 11th (seems like a long way off), I will give you more chances to put your name in the hat. Meaning: Each time you comment on a post, your name goes in the hat, again! You could really beef up your chances of winning depending on how many times I post before the 11th. (Or you could think "this is really stupid and much more trouble than it's worth" and not play along.) I'll still love you if you choose option 2. Honest.

Okay, so I'll give you something to comment on:

I have this friend. She's the friendliest friend. She should probably win A Very Big Award for being the Friendliest Person in the World. And if you know her, you'll no doubt agree.
Anyway, this friend, she has a great story. It's a true story. It's a tear-jerker. And even if you're not married, or don't have kids, or never will.... it's a story you should hear.

So, go here: Friendliest Person in the World's Website
After you get there, click on "the bee well story" and read it.

When you're done crying, you've hugged your mate or your pet and you've purchased some goods, come back here and make a comment. Any comment.

If I Win, You Win!

2010-03-22T17:42:00.011-04:00

Hm. I don't even know if this is a good idea or not. I'll be embarrassed if no one responds.

Where do I start?

I have to be honest with you, I'm a little reluctant to go full time with my photography gig. I've yet to do any advertising (other than facebook, if you call that advertising) although I consider it pretty much all the time. Word of mouth has gotten me this far and it's what I'd call manageable. To get to the point, I want to make my business grow because there's nothing I'd rather do for a living than take photographs but I also don't want to go "all in" and then fail.

Now, here's the deal: My photography has been nominated for A Very Big Award. I'm going up against two other very renowned photographers in the Atlanta area. If I win, (we'll find out April 11th) you will also win. What will you win? A free session, that's what.

I realize I'm putting myself out there by doing this and that's the point. Winning would give me the confidence I need to take a big step. If I win, I will start actively seeking photography as a legitimate career instead of a weekend/ summer thing. If I don't win, I will continue being comfortable with my manageable workload.

So, if you're interested in a free session, and you live in Atlanta or the surrounding area (including Athens), all you have to do to be considered is respond to this post. Of course you can invite your friends to take part in the fun, too. And yes, you're still eligible even if you've had a previous session with me! If I win A Very Big Award, I will put all of your names in a hat and have Tim draw a winner.

Here are some of the images that are being reviewed for A Very Big Award. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please?

Photos were taken for A Grimm Evening hosted by Zenith Design Group, Inc.
Makeup was done by the awesome Shane Morton!

Jamie and Jerry

2010-03-22T17:10:00.007-04:00

These kids were way too much fun. They never stopped running, jumping, throwing, swinging, talking, laughing, insert verb here the whole time I was shooting. They really made me reconsider putting off the purchase of that super fast expensive lens I've been wanting!
Gretchen, their mom, I don't even know why she hired me. She's an incredible photographer herself... and painter and designer. Sigh. I sort of want to be her.

And you know how I love those jump shots, right? This one might be my favorite jump shot to date:

Just a small sneak peek for you! Your kids rock!

Beckett

2010-03-22T16:16:00.009-04:00

I was so excited to take pictures of this family!
Marc and Shelby are neighborhood icons (not to mention Marc used to be my boss at the Universal Joint- that was such a fun job). Go eat there.

Shelby is the cutest preggo mommy. You'd never guess she's due in two weeks!
You'll see more of them in a month or two, once we meet the new addition. For now, Beckett gets to steal the show...

Baby James

2010-03-22T15:54:00.010-04:00

I just love Athens.

And James? Well, he's just about as sweet as they come.

Also, check out Jen's really cool blog!: The Family Fugue

He's Here!

2010-03-14T22:32:00.005-04:00

Ian, you're awesome. Your parents are awesome. We love you. Thanks for letting us hold you for hours and hours, today. I wished I could've bottled up your sweet sweet baby smell and taken it home with me. See you soon, punkin'.

Cree and Liz,
You made such a perfect baby. It was so great to sit and chat all day while staring at his little head, his tiny features and listening to him breathe in and out. There was a point this afternoon when we were all laughing, genuinely laughing hard, and it felt so good. I hope you know how much we love you. We could not be happier for you. He's perfect.

Welcome to the club. We cannot wait for all of the crazy stories and "firsts". Now, get some sleep!

Eywa

2010-03-14T00:26:00.004-05:00

Tim and I just saw Avatar, tonight.
I thought it was brilliant.
I don't want to talk about the movie in depth or why I thought it was brilliant but I do want to talk about what it made me think about- the environment.

We took the girls on a nature walk recently and we went off the path (not far off the path) and discovered a little sandy beach on the river. It was great in theory, but in reality it was stinky and so very polluted. Tires, beer cans (old pull tabs) glass and miscellaneous junk lined the shore while plastic bags, a million plastic bags waved from the trees at the height of the last flooding of the river.
I was in shock.
Serious shock.
We really are killing our Mother.

Just last week I witnessed one of my students chunk a milk carton into a shrub. There was a trash can not 5 feet from her. I called her out on it and her response was simply, "Oh, you saw that?" accompanied by laughter.

I should have ordered her go back and pick it up. But again, the shock, it just took over.

Anyway, more about the nature walk:
We'd been on this trail once before and we were excited to go back to the "beaver pond" so the girls could sit on the lookout chairs and climb up on the deck to overlook the marshy area.
We finally arrived and were stunned to see that a solar powered security camera had been installed near the deck. Seriously?

I wished I'd taken a picture of it. It looked so strange and surreal there, out of place.

And since our outing, I've noticed a lot that seems strange and surreal. I've really stopped to look at the bigger picture... and I don't like it.

Not that I have the answer or even have the slightest bit of power or backing to make a significant difference, but I think about it.

I want to feel more connected to Nature.

I just want to feel more connected.

A co-worker used the perfect word to describe how I've been feeling, lately. Fragmented.
Hello, I am Angela and I'm fragmented.

This is how the perfect day began...

2010-03-06T23:03:00.011-05:00

Well, we did have breakfast first, but I wasn't awake enough to pull the camera out just then.

Tim had no idea I was taking his picture. I guess he's a little too scared to let me near his head after the last haircut. So, he'd rather take his chances by removing his glasses (he is so blind) and watching his reflection in a double-paned window (which makes me look skinnier) than letting me have a crack at it. He let me trim up the sides though, so that's something.

The day only got better from there. My mom called me while the girls were napping and asked if we wanted to come play. Play? Of course we want to play! We suggested going to the Chattahoochee Nature Center. (I hadn't been since middle school.) Things really change in ten years time.

Anyway, we all hopped in the car and headed out to the burbs.

It was a little bit of a strange ride because for some reason, Tim and I were a tiny bit emotional. I guess we're just so grateful these days. We've been talking about our relationship a bit and communicating. You know, communicating, that word that every marriage is based on? Sometimes we forget to do that. Not that our relationship is bad... (isn't this taboo to blog about?) I'm giving you the wrong idea. Maybe I should just stop. We're on the same page, everything is clicking, the planets are aligned in our favor- it was emotional in a good way. Plus, the music selection coincided with our thoughts. It was like our own little movie soundtrack.

Everything was absolutely perfect until I realized:

I'd left my purse at home.

It wasn't that big of a deal. I just couldn't believe I'd walked out of the house without it. (I'm really losing brain cells at an alarming rate these days.)
It didn't hit me that I'd left it behind until we were in the parking lot of the Nature Center. Thanks mom, for paying our way. I'll getcha back. I really wasn't trying to get free admission. Promise.

The girls really dug being outside and hanging out with their Mamaw. Audrey led the way and wanted to look at everything and ask a million questions. Harper followed close behind and did everything that Audrey did. I think they liked the owls the best. Although, the dead rat that was lying on the ground in the vultures' cage was quite the conversation piece. The snake, however, was not a favorite. Harper wouldn't go near it. She didn't take her eye off of it but she kept shaking her head, "No, no, no." It was cute.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not, but Harper?, she's really fast. I was on-edge watching her almost fall, and once... she did. She was running so fast down the sidewalk that she ran right off the side, onto her back and into a small ditch. We didn't know the extent of her injury until we got home and changed her into her jammies. I did hear the back of her head hit the concrete though. So did my mom. She held her own investigation once the little one stopped for a millisecond. I'm telling you: This kid is going to give me a heart attack. She's fearless.

This wasn't her first big injury. Friday, her daycare supervisor called with the news that she ran into the corner of a table. I was told that, "... it wasn't that bad. It might get black and blue but at least it's not deep."
It's only a matter of time before we make our trip to the ER. She's really starting to try my blood pressure. I'm really thinking about investing in that toddler leash.

Once she checked out okay (and stopped crying) we kept on. We decided to take-on a short trail around the lake. I was terrified that Tottie would just take off and run right into the water. Luckily, she didn't.
It was so great to be outside with the sun beating down on us.
We all needed some fresh air.

We wrapped up the excursion with Audrey sticking herself on a yucca plant. (Damn, those things are sharp.) She was screaming bloody murder and out walks this guy from a nearby building. He asks, "Do you need some iodine or something? We're holding a first aid class in there..." I look to where his head is nodding and am greeted by several annoyed faces wondering what the hell all the commotion is about. We politely decline and move on.

Afterward, we swung by my parents' house and picked up my dad for dinner. We ate someplace new. We never do that. And guess what? I tried a beet for the first time in my life.

I hated it.

But, isn't it great to at least try new things?

There's no doubt. She's mine.

2010-03-03T22:12:00.001-05:00

Mom, when Harper is asleep will you turn off the music?

Sure. You don’t like this music?

I like it. I just want it to be quiet so I don’t have any interruptions when I dream.

Spring, Hurry it Up.

2010-02-25T23:37:00.009-05:00

I'm tired of attempting to get good shots of the girls indoors. Our house is too cluttered, dog hair everywhere, you get my point.
Oh, Spring! Would you please hurry it up? We had one bright sunny day last week and it felt glorious to be in the warm sunshine. The day was just a tease it turns out- a fluke. The frosty bite of Winter still lingers. I talked myself out of going to the grocery store tonight because I'd rather stay warm. It's starting to make me cranky, (or at least that's what I'm blaming my bad attitude on this week). Stupid weather.

I want to play outside.

Nathan

2010-02-25T23:21:00.006-05:00

Oh, Sweet Pea

2010-02-14T20:54:00.006-05:00

I can't imagine how I became so lucky in life.
I think you are amazing.
Our relationship has changed so much over the years and it's been difficult at times for sure. Still, I wouldn't change a thing. I love our life together. I love our little girls. I love watching you be a father. I love that just when I think nothing bothers you, it does. I love that when I pout and whine you tell me to put a sock in it and then grab my feet and tickle them. I love that you are noisy and boisterous and bubbly in the morning and I am not. I love that it takes you longer to get ready in the morning than me. I love that you drive with two feet. I love that you have created your own language with words like, "clomb" and "skirmps". I love that you talk in your sleep. I love that you let me sleep in every weekend. I love that you trust me to cut your hair. I love that you are a romantic. I love that you still sketch in your sketchbook. I love that all of your conversations start with, "On NPR..." (Well, maybe not all of them.) I love that you can still make me laugh, even when I want to spit nails. I love that you picked me to marry. I really love that.
I may not be the best at showing it or saying it, but I love you every day of my life.